As a general rule, I don’t watch the news. I’m either not at home or I’m doing other things or I’m just not interested in hearing about all of the negative things going on in the world. I do, however, like to know what’s going on in the world of weather. Well, let me clarify that. Not all things weather; I really don’t care about how the Jet is Streaming or what effect the Lake Effect Snow is having. And, I’m sure I’m not the only one who would happily forego the colored ozone warnings and the Doppler radar loops to get right to the “important” information, the numbers that hold the answer the question- is it too cold for a skirt or should I wear pants? Because really, don’t we watch the weather simply to know what to wear? In a deliberate effort to skip all of the other news and speed up this decision-making (and subsequent ironing) process, I hop on over to the Weather Channel, which is supposed to give me Weather on the 8s and a running scroll at the bottom of my screen with the high/lows and extended forecast for my area towns. Simple. Easy. WRONG.
In true ‘never where I need to be when I need to be there’ fashion, I’m never on the Weather Channel on an 8 so I’m stuck watching either A. a story about a group of guys in a pick-up truck that are trying to track down a tornado or B. the forecast for some far-away place that I have about a snowball’s chance of ever visiting. And since I know my patience will not survive until an 8, I count on the scroll. And what a handy dandy thing that should be. BUT ISN’T. When my town appears, it tells me the temperature NOW is a degree in the teens (because it’s somewhere around 5:45 a.m.). Fine. No problem. The next thing it tells me is tomorrow’s high. WHAT? Did I blink? What about today’s high? This morning, the scroll took me from ‘now’ to Saturday and on through the predicted highs until next Wednesday. And then we went through four or five other cities in the same format- now, tomorrow… to Wednesday, before coming back to mine and again, today’s high was nowhere to be seen. And then we went to commercials, lots of commercials. By the time we got back from that break, we were at an 8 and I thought, “Yahoo, finally weather!” But NOOOOOO. I had to watch the radar loop a few times from a few different angles AND the colored ozone warnings (particulates in the air today, friends, breath with caution), AND the travel forecast for a ski slope in WVA I’d never heard of, AND the historical almanac of last year versus yesterday BEFORE I learned that long-sleeves (without a coat, if I walked fast) would be fine for today. And by this time, my hair was starting to frizz and I was on the verge of being late for work. I think “I was waiting on the weather” probably ranks up there with “the dog ate my homework” as far as excuses go but what can you do, right?
I would really like to call The Weather Channel and find out 1. Why the scroll skips over the most crucial piece of information and 2. Who decided on the order of the slides in the Weather on the 8s feature because it’s really not working for me. I bet if I called they wouldn’t talk to me. They, after all, are probably too busy chasing down a tornado to worry about a little thing like the weather.
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