He said the S word. I couldn't believe it but I heard it with my own ears. Greg Fishel said the S word. He said SNOW... and I did what we do. I went to Wal-Mart for "bread and milk" even though that's not at all what I bought. I bought pop-tarts because they require zero effort, Diet Mt. Dew because we know that not even a blizzard will stand between me and the requisite levels of caffeine, and some baking ingredients for a little theory I'm testing. As I'm standing in line, in one of the three lines that is actually open at my twenty-something checkout station Wal-Mart, with 300 of my closest friends, I do that other thing we do. I scope out my neighbor's carts.
I confess: I'm a cart stalker. I'm a conveyor belt snooper. In my defense, as I'm stalking, I offer coupons to people when I can. That makes it OK, right?
I just love to see what other people are buying. I like to see what new products I might have missed but this snooping always leads to the same end. I wonder, "What are you making with THAT?"
And today was no exception. The obviously single man (and no, I didn't hit on him) in line in front of me had in his cart: 3 bags of tortilla chips (though not the same brand), frozen shrimp, fresh basil leaves, some potted meat, and a bag of candy bars. I have cookbooks. I actually read them. I watch Food Network and would take a road trip with Guy Fieri if he asked. But I can't for the life of me figure out how this man came to posess this cart of items. Was he breaking the cardinal rule of shopping (Do not shop while hungry)? Was he researching tortilla chips? Was this stuff actually for a meal? Was he filling in the missing ingredients on several meals? I wanted to know. I needed to know. I pondered it. I mulled it over. He was checking out. I was running out of time. I had to know! I took a deep breath. And...
Did I ask? Did I figure it out? Nope. I let him get away. A perfectly good mystery vanish unsolved out the sliding glass doors and into the night. Bummer.
Disappointed in my lack of initiative, I turned to cart stalk the guy behind me. Beer and frozen pizza. No mystery there. Single man staples. You can't really blame him; after all, Greg Fishel did say the S word.
In tears...OMGoodness-I cannot believe you didn't ask him? Now the rest of us readers are left pondering things we never even considered possible. It is 11:05pm and I need to sleep, but I'm awake wondering why 3 brands of chips? Perhaps he wanted to try them for his favorite brand? Maybe he had a preggo wife w/ a craving for potted meat and chips?
ReplyDeleteI know! I was quite disappointed in myself! And I keep saying this will be the year I'm bold. I guess I still have some work to do on that!
ReplyDelete3 brands of chips huh? I'm thinking that the one that cost more was for him, the least expensive to offer his friends, and the other because he was heading to a Snow party. Potted meat to go with his MRE's, or he likes how his burps smell afteward... yeah yeah, TMI!
ReplyDeleteHe could also be testing to see which chips hold better when fried. You know of breaded shrimp right? Well, you can do it with tortilla chips to :)
As for the candy bars, it doesn't really need an answer. Buuuuut maybe, just maybe, it's for his new fondue set that he got for xmas.