Welcome to the Jungle

While I love having my own place, there are just certain chores that come with home ownership that I don’t enjoy. Hands down, no doubt about it, the chore perpetually in the top spot on the “I detest” list is mowing the grass. I wish I were one of those green-thumbed gals who loves getting dirt under her fingernails and mulch in her ponytail. I envy those people who have grass so green that it gets mistaken for carpet. I long to be one of those people who can resurrect what appears to be a dead plant back to the land of the flourishing. I, sadly, struggle keeping Eliot (the houseplant in my kitchen) happy and I often consider shutting my eyes driving into my driveway just so I don’t have to look at the scraggly, weedy, less-than-beautiful lawn.

About two weeks ago, it was time to begin the dreaded cycle of mow-complain-mow-complain at my house. I drug out the push mower and wondered for the millionth time why I don’t just hire someone to mow this grass. But since I try not to pawn things off on others just because I can, I thanked heaven that my yard isn’t one micro-acre larger than it is and I steeled myself to just plow through it. I checked the oil and filled up the gas tank. I primed it (I think that’s what you call it when you push the bubble thing on the side of the gas tank), pushed the choke bar and pulled the crank. Nothing. Argh. I tried again. Nothing. *&^%.

And this went on for quite a bit of time, enough time for me to go from annoyed to frustrated to nearly in tears. But being one who will not let the mower get the better of me, I did what I do. Let’s all say it together: I called Dad. But I forgot that Dad was out of town so I talked to Mom whose advice was, and I quote, “Put the mower in the sun and let it warm up a bit.” Oh, bless your heart. I love you, Mom, but please don’t let Dad go out of town. EVER. But, in her defense, the mower happened to be in the sun when I went in the house for a minute to regroup and when I came back, Viola! It cranked like a dream. So maybe there was something to her idea after all.

Today marked the second mowing of the season and basically, it confirmed how much I detest this chore. It served as nothing more than a new way to stir up some pollen and further clog my already stuffy state of being. The only thing that propelled me to propel the mower was the fact that in a few hours, I’ll be at the Bill Gentry concert. If it were an analogy from English class, it would look like this: Broccoli is to Ice Cream as Mowing the Yard is to Bill Gentry. You have to get through one to get to the other J

I usually try to find the bright side, the platinum lining in the grey clouds. Mowing the yard is my one exception to this rule. I find myself humming along to Guns & Roses’ Welcome to the Jungle as I’m making the marathon march around my little square of yard but I’m pretty sure Axl wasn’t thinking of my yard with the follow-up line, “We’ve got fun and games”. If mowing is anything, fun and games, it ain’t!

But, for this week, the daunting and unpleasant task is marked off the list so I’m off to clean the house and to get myself ready for a night out with Bill and the band. I hope that your Friday has been fantastic and that you make quick work of your weekend chores so that you can move on to something fun, something exciting… Something More!