If you know anything about me at all, you know I don’t do math. I don’t really have a reason, it’s just not my thing. The only numbers I really like are shoe sizes and the only math I can do with relative ease is figuring out how to get something for free with coupons.
Words, on the other hand, fascinate me. They always have. An overachiever from the start, my first words were “pretty flower” and I’ve been a talker ever since. Words are tiny little morsels of wonderful, weaved together to create a meal of inspired wisdom. I gobble them up, devour them, and search for second helpings. I read quotes and write them down, saving them for the moments my own words escape me and I need to borrow from a creative scholar. As much as I treasure quotes, I am head over heels madly in love with song lyrics. I’m enamored by song writers who string together words to create pictures, capture emotions, or say something that’s been said a million times in a fresh, new way. Give me a Steve Carlson, Jason Manns, or Matt Nathanson any day and I’ll give you one happy camper.
But, sometimes, the lyrical love goes horribly, hysterically wrong. Have you ever belted out a song in a karaoke bar only to actually read the lyrics and realize you’ve been singing the wrong words for years? Have you ever been jamming out in the car with friends only to have one point out that you’re messing up the lyrics?
According to the internet, misheard lyrics are often called mondegreens. As much as I love words, I didn’t know that. I guess we really do learn something new every day.
It takes a special person to creatively (and unknowingly) interject misheard lyrics into songs. I am proud to be one of these special folks. I like to think of myself as a Princess of Priceless Lyrics. Sometimes, my versions are better than the originals. Sometimes I just wonder what’s disconnected in my noggin’ to make me hear and believe some of the lines I sing. Tonight, for your enjoyment, are some of my fun, slightly embarrassing, lyrically challenged moments.
Christian Kane’s In the Darkness
The lyric: “I’ve been hell on wheels for days now, there ain’t a shade of red I can’t paint.”
My lyric: “I’ve been hell on wheels for days now; without a cigarette, I can’t think.”
Interestingly enough, I’ve found two other people who also thought this lyric was about a cigarette so I’m in good Kaniac company.
T-Pain’s Apple Bottom Jeans
The lyric: “Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans (jeans), boots with the fur (with the fur).”
My lyric: “She had them amplified jeans, and Reeboks with the fur.”
It takes a special girl to mess up a lyric that is the actual title of the song. And I’m pretty sure Reeboks never come with fur. Don’t ask me how I came up with that one. Just laugh at me, everyone else does.
Lady Gaga’s Pokerface
The lyric: “Just like a chick in the casino, Take your bank before I pay you out”
My lyric: “Like chicken La Casina, take your bait before I pay you.”
What? Stop laughing! There’s a La Casina restaurant back home, maybe I was craving a Grande Burrito? And the bait? Beats me. A tackle shop maybe? Anything’s possible when Lady Gaga's in the mix.
Eagles’ New Kid in Town
The lyric: “The talk on the street that sounds so familiar”
My lyric: “The talk on the street that sounds so vanilla”
Just so you know, that wasn’t my goof but that of my childhood friend, Kelly. In her defense, her lyric creates a better picture. We all know vanilla is the perfect base for a life lived with sprinkles!
The lyric: “Baby all I got is this beat up leather bag.”
My lyric: “Baby all I got is this beat up yellow bag.”
Anyone can have a leather bag, it takes a real man (like King George) to carry a yellow one. I'm pretty sure I'd love him all the same even if he carried a hot pink, zebra striped bag! (And if he'd let me borrow it sometime, that would be even better!)
I’m sure the list goes on but we’ll stop here for now. I have no doubt that my love affair with lyrics will continue, as will my crafty ability to interject my own special spin on things. The judges on American Idol keep telling the contestants to make the song their own; I’d say I have that down to a mondegreen science.
If there’s a song you’ve creatively enhanced, let me know. I’d love to laugh with you about the bait in your casino, your furry Reeboks, or whatever other crazy thing is going on in your Lyricland.
Oh, I love this post. My best wrong turn into Lyricland was in Jewel's Hands.
ReplyDeleteThe lyric: “My hands are small I know.”
My lyric: “My hands, they smell like mold.”
Um, yeah, nothing is quite as song-worthy as moldy hands.