Sunday, May 8, 2011

Before She was Mom

Not too long ago, I was flipping through some photos on facebook and noticed some pictures of my mom from back in the day. She was laughing with friends, kicking back with burgers and fries and red Solo cups (that I'm told was filled with Coca-Cola when it was still "The Real Thing") at the racetrack. In that moment, it occurred to me that my mom, like all other moms, used to be something other than a mom.

Before we came along, she could hop in the car and go anytime without worrying about whether she had diaper bags, toys, and snacks. She could eat ice cream and potato chips for dinner without worrying it would set a bad example. She could buy a new dress without worrying about paying for dance lessons. She could take a vacation and not have to hear bickering from the backseat about who was taking up too much room. She could sleep in, stay up late, and watch whatever she wanted on tv. 

But she chose to become a mom. And every day after that, she has chosen to put us first. She gave up steak dinners to have fish sticks and mac & cheese. She stayed up late sewing dance costumes and got up in the middle of the night when we were sick. She changed jobs to make sure our college educations were secure. She cheered at games, clapped at dance recitals, and tried her best to make me practice the piano. She bandaged scraped knees and mended our broken hearts. She laughed at our corny jokes and put our artwork on the refrigerator.

She taught us to think twice and speak once, to check our pockets before putting our dirty laundry in the basket, and to "try it, you might like it". She always made us wonder if the threat to "back the truck up to the playroom and throw everything out the window" was just an idle threat or an inevitable promise. She kept us on our toes but made sure we stayed grounded (in the "good sense" version of the term, not the "no tv for a month" version). She let us choose our own outfits but gently kept us from turning into episodes of What Not to Wear. She gave us a curfew we secretly appreciated and pried into our business just enough to be caring without being meddling. She had a solution for everything but when she didn't, she simply said, "I don't know but we'll figure it out together."

I may not need Mom anymore for putting a band-aid on my skinned knees but I do still need her to mend a broken heart from time to time. I no longer eat fish sticks but I know that if I need to talk, she'll have a home cooked meal and some words of wisdom. I can sew my own pant hems now but Mom is there to analyze any problem and help me piece together a plan of action.

There are lots of things that I guess technically I don't need Mom to do for me anymore but there are so many many more things that I'll never be able to do on my own. For those things, she's still there and I don't have any doubt that she always will be. For that, I'm grateful and so very very blessed. Mom gave up a lot to become a mom; she gave up a lot to raise us right and to send us out into the scary world she tried to protect us from. In all of her giving up over the years, she's never once, not even for a moment, given up on us. And for her unconditional, unfaltering, and unfailing love and sacrifice, we have no words to do it justice except Happy Mother's Day... today and every day. We love you, Mom.


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